The takeaway message of this entire post is: I’m taking a break from Tumblr. Here’s why. My life right now consists of the following:
- Lots of internet, and not even the cool kind that helps me become a better person, just escapist websites that suck you in and don’t let you out.
- Lots of hanging out with the same 3 people who don’t appreciate me and don’t think in the same ways I do.
- Lots of pot-smoking. I’m not against drugs at all, on the contrary, I think that as long as you keep it under control, have fun in any way you wanna have fun. Problem is, it’s starting to interfere with my life.
My life does not consist of any of the following:
- Productive work that earns me money.
- Social relationships that enhance my happiness and sense of fulfillment.
- Self-improvement, be it through formal education or creative hobbies. I’ve even stopped drawing, mostly.
This dilemma has caused me to stagnate in my own head, thinking the same self-destructive thoughts in circles, and being a burden on everyone who cares about me. I’ve been here before, and the good news is, I can get out. I can even pretty much do it on my own.
The bad news is that it will be hellishly difficult, because my mind right now exists in a state that encourages laziness and stagnation, and balks at any intrusion to my escapist routines.
This is where Tumblr comes in. You guys, I love you so much. You are all amazing, completely addictive, I’m 100% one of you. You’ll always be my darlings. But I just can’t regulate myself. I don’t have the willpower to limit my time here, and I don’t have the disposition anymore to waste 7 hours a day online.
I’m going out into the world to fix myself up, become a kinder, more generous, empathetic and well-adjusted individual. I’m going to take some time to grow into myself, and then I’ll come back and tell you all about how much I’ve learned, and you all will be (hopefully) happy for me. But for now, I have to bid you all adieu.
I haven’t had any close Tumblr friendships, but if you’ve been following me and you wanna get to know me better, feel free to either drop a message into my inbox (I’ll still be checking that for a couple days), or friend me on facebook.
P.S. here are some things that I’m taking up instead of blogging:
- Running
- Drawing
- Learning languages
- Learning accents
- Learning to do impressions
- Learning to walk on my hands
- Calling up all those people I know but haven’t talked to in months
- Exploring my neighborhood and the greater Bay Area, including San Francisco
- Finding a job and earning money
- Creating stories I can tell you all about later
